My Successful Exit: The Drama of Online Dating

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Being a Tech Babe, I knew my life wouldn’t be complete until I dove in and tried the online dating thing – because while I meet lots of people in real life, it’s always good to have the robots working for you too (or so I thought…)

So Barry -winks- at me on match.com. I read his profile:


Barry’s MATCH Profile

~reprinted verbatim~

Barry Grove, Did I mention he's a Penn Guy?


In my own words: I consider myself to be intelligent, attractive, etc., and am looking for someone who is also intelligent and good-looking. I am a lecturer at Penn, and hold three degrees from Penn as well. I am looking for someone who shares at least some interest in art, history, science, or politics.
for fun: Visiting museums and historical sites, taking walks, spending time w/ family
my job: Ivy League College Professor ; Private Tutor, Former Lawyer
my ethnicity: Go white boy, go white boy, go!
favorite hot spots: Philly Art Museum, The Franklin, Valley Forge Park, Lancaster, England, to name a few…
favorite things: Golf, Food Network, WaWa DragonFruit Iced Tea – which has recently been discontinued and I’m not too happy! Learning & teaching, spending time w/ family, visiting new places, etc..
my pets: I don’t have any pets, but I’m fond of my cat nephew, Rudy!


I think, well, give the guy a chance – I mean, maybe he did make it all the way through Penn three times and still didn’t learn basic marketing/advertising 101.

So I -wink- back. He emails me to ask for my number. I give him my google voice number. He calls me at 10:03pm the following day. We talk for about 30 minutes. I mean, he talks for 30 minutes. He tells me all about how he’s a lecturer at Penn and has three degrees from Penn, he’s an accountant and a lawyer and now teaches entrepreneurship.

“Wow,” I say, “how many exits have you had?” (This is entrepreneur speak for: how many businesses have you run and then sold successfully?) He says – “I don’t know what you mean?” Now, I’m annoyed. Because if you’re going to beat me over the head with your credentials, you better be able to converse intelligently about it. I explain myself and he says – oh, well none. I’ve never owned a business.

I’m shocked into dead silence, speechless that Wharton allows someone who knows nothing about business to teach in their entrepreneurship program. So I guess he reads my silence and says – “I have a tutoring business, and it’s a little business where people give me money to tutor them and it makes me happy.” I say, “Oh, that’s good.” So he says, “Well, come on, I have three degrees with Penn, it’s not like I can’t do anything I want – who would tell me I couldn’t teach there with those credentials?”

Then he says, “Do you want to go out for dinner or something next Wednesday?” So I say (not wanting to go out with him at all), “Give me a call next week and we’ll see what works best, I think Monday is actually better for me, but we’ll see. I really have to run and get these gifts wrapped.”

Wednesday at 2pm, I’m partaking in the Ann Taylor 40% off sale in the dressing room. My phone starts blowing up. Barry calls me FIVE times in succession. On the fifth time, he leaves this rather pleasant voicemail.

I get back to the office and I call him back. I explain that I’ve been really busy and that I apologize he booked a slot for me in his calendar but that I won’t be able to make it. I do also mention that I received his six calls but sometimes I’m not available to answer the phone. He says, “Okay, maybe some other time then.” I wish him a happy new year and we get off the phone.

And then the phone rings. He’s calling me back. I let it go to voice mail and he leaves  THIS MESSAGE.

I can’t help it – I bust out laughing. It’s my fault he had to be so inappropriate with the calling and hanging up – AND I’m not even apologetic that he had to go to so much trouble to abuse me.

The saving grace is, that he’ll never call me again (hopefully?), and I think I’ll take his advice…

I’ll NEVER bother to call back and explain myself to anyone I’ve never met….. even if he does remind me a bit of Mel Gibson.

I believe that is what I’ll call a successful exit.

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One response »

  1. So funny, I pulled this up for a friend and she had the Same experience with the same guy! What a narcissist. Thanks for posting this to help others avoid the same situation.

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