Did you ever feel like you were speaking a different language than your mate, your family, your friends? It’s one of the reasons humans can feel lonely even when there are people who love them all around them.

As the holidays come around, I am doing my standard year end reflecting and my standard run from house to house to house for festivities. I realized (and have written in journals) that it upsets me when people do not bring a gift/dish/bottle when they go to someone else’s house for dinner or to a party. And no, I don’t mean that every time my mom stops in for a cup of tea or my best friend comes to lounge on my couch on Saturday night that they should bring me a bottle of champagne. I mean that when someone has put some effort into treating you, you should express your gratitude. I personally keep an eye out for inexpensive hostess gifts because I find they are far more valued and memorable to the host/hostess – they feel special that I’ve taken some time and selected something nice for THEM (that they don’t even have to share with their party guests). The point of this behavior is to acknowledge the work the host/hostess has put into creating the evening. It’s important to me because I put a lot of work into making guests feel special in my home.

For me, this extends beyond superficial social courtesy – in many ways I use it as a barometer for acknowledgment in life. I thought about my past suitors. I gave much more leeway to those who brought flowers, a bottle of wine, a gift when they came to eat or stay at my house. In fact, one guy I dated (hands down the worst boyfriend candidate ever) never walked into my home without SOMETHING for me – be it a slinky, a light up pen, mentos – and god, did I give him ridiculous chances that I shouldn’t have. It’s because I never felt that he was taking advantage.

On the flip side, I dated a guy I absolutely adored but finally felt that he wasn’t contributing what was necessary to create a relationship. It was then that I realized in physical actuality, I had nothing to show for our time together – he had never once brought me ANYTHING. Wow. That was my -proof- that I was right in this feeling all along.

Luckily, Gary Chapman has put some sense into this incompatibility of human relationships. He has developed an entire series of books on the languages of love.

The premise is that each person expresses their love for other people in different ways. The feeling of loneliness appears when we expect love to be expressed exactly how we express it or exactly how we need it without understanding what that means. Gary believes we love in these five languages:

• Quality Time
• Words of Affection/Communication
• Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

Obviously, I love in gifts. Someone else may find the friend who shows up an hour early to help put together the food far more loving than the one who brings a bottle of nice wine. That would be -acts of service-. We can be a hybrid of many of the languages. We have needs related to all of them, the quantity and importance vary from person to person.  The point is to classify how we and the people around us are expressing their emotions so that we recognize the expression is still there, just in a language we didn’t understand at first.

So back to the slinky guy. I always felt appreciated because he expressed himself in my primary love language of gifts but someone else may have felt very unappreciated because he was never around (quality time) and he surely wasn’t walking the dog on a snowy night for me (acts of service).

And adored guy? He wanted to spend copious amounts of time with me (quality time) and had no problem pouring his heart out to me (communication). So the fact that he didn’t bring me flowers didn’t mean that he didn’t love me any less than slinky guy, it was just a different language of expression.

So thanks to Gary and his Languages of Love, we can recognize when someone is loving in a language that isn’t our primary language. We can also recognize the loving languages that people around us respond to best and try to use that language with that person as much as possible. It also provides a fact based center ground to acknowledge what someone is doing for you and start the conversation on how to have other needs met too.

What is your primary love language? The secondary? Which language do you need expressed to you? Which language do you most express to others? What do you think the primary languages are of those closest to you? Do you already see there could be something lost in translation when you are expressing emotion with that person? This book is a great start to feel more appreciated and doing your best to appreciate others in ways they can easily understand.

Three years ago I became a cliché.

After staring down my mortality at the age of twenty six, I became the poster girl for women who thought they were living life until a health scare sucker punched them in their faces and told them that they weren’t.  As I recovered and my life (thankfully) continued, my quarterlife crisis began.  Like every good crisis, the question at the center of mine was “How different is the life I have (or thought I should have) than the one I really want?”  Like any good crisis victim, I set about making important changes: reducing my hours at work, taking time for myself, doing things that really made me happy.  As I began living what was left of my (hopefully long) life to its fullest, I determined that it was about time to get serious about my Bucket List.

I decided that I needed to take the list in my head and commit it to paper, because when you lay out your goals in front of you, you are more likely to get them accomplished.  I had found that when you put your desires out there for the universe to see and hear, the universe will help you actualize them, often in strange, unforeseen ways.  You’ve experienced this, haven’t you?  I also decided that as much as I like lists, I didn’t want to just cross these things off my Bucket List and forget about them.  Instead, in my mind, I envisioned placing them in an actual bucket, where I could collect them, hold onto them, and cherish them like treasures I collected after a day at the beach.

I spent the next few years filling up my bucket with all sorts of things, placing precious items in it that I had already collected that had been sitting on shelves in my memory and tossing in shiny new items to add to the colorful collection.  What have you collected?

I now find myself becoming a very different, yet again all-too-common cliché:  The Successful Yet Single Twenty-Nine Year-Old.  As I hurdle toward thirty I start thinking about everything I’ve put in my bucket, and perhaps more importantly, what I haven’t.  Does the fact that some of the “biggest” items on my list, like “get married,” “start a family,” haven’t made it into the bucket yet devalue all the things that are already there: the visit to my dad’s birthplace in the Dominican Republic, traveling to Ireland to see where my mother’s ancestors came from, conquering my fear of heights by scaling pyramids in Central America?  Do some items have more weight than others?  Is the lack of certain items wearing a hole in the bottom of my bucket?  How often have you questioned the value of your choices?

I decided that maybe it was time to dump my bucket out and take a look at its contents, to remind myself of all the wonderful things that I had put in there and to assure myself that I had time to collect those things that were “missing.”  Fortunately, I had been documenting the items in my bucket even before I had realized I was collecting anything.  I had photos of many of my adventures and accomplishments to remind myself of what I had achieved: pictures of myself grinning in front of my first home, waving from the bottom of the ocean, skiing down a mountain.  I created a photo album on Facebook to remind myself and the universe of my desire to live a rich, full, colorful life.  After all, what better way to release something into the universe than to put it on the internet?

As I got ready to ”publish” the album, the fourteen year-old girl in me freaked out a little.  What will other people think of what I had collected?  Undoubtedly, some people would think it was stupid and a majority of my five hundred plus Facebook friends probably wouldn’t even view it, or care.  Some would probably think it was bragging or shameless self promotion.    Once I clicked that button I was opening myself up to worlds of ridicule in a place that has no takebacks, that doesn’t forget.

At that moment my twenty-nine year –old self spoke up.  Of course my bucket would be self-indulgent.  That’s the point: to fill your bucket with the things that fulfill and enliven you.   Who cares what anyone thinks about the contents of my bucket?  It’s mine.  They can put whatever they want in their bucket.  Your secret dream is to scale like Eiffel Tower like Spiderman?  Good for you.  All you want in life is to see an ocean, any ocean?  Get after it.  Like my friend Amy says, “Live your truth.”  After all, that’s what makes you, you.   What’s your truth? 

Within half an hour of dumping my bucket out into cyberspace the “likes” and the comments started pouring in.  One of my high school friends said he shared my dream of visiting every major league ballpark and another admitted that she was also afraid of being eaten by sea creatures.   My family was touched by how much our ancestry meant to me.  But my favorite comment of all was simply “love this album…so you.”  Both of my selves were vindicated.

Last week after a barrage of tests, my doctor called to tell me that I am completely, spectacularly healthy.  With a tear in my eye I reveled in the fact that I am going to be collecting treasures in my bucket for many years to come.

I think I’m going to need a bigger bucket.

I got exactly what I wanted, just a little out of order.

I had spent most of October agonizing over how to ask my boss for recommendations for new jobs and give my notice.  I stayed up at night worrying about hurting his feelings and disappointing my superiors, even though my job was both unfulfilling and not making ends meet.  The last week of the month my boss walked into my office and before he even said the words I knew what he was there to do.

He was visibly upset as he explained that even though I was the top performer, I also had the least amount of service and that the market hadn’t improved…and on and on.  He said he thought I would be very successful and would happy to give me a gIowing recommendation.  I could see that he felt guilty and sad while all I felt was…relief.

I also felt powerful.  After all, didn’t I manifest this?  Up until then, my manifesting skills were most effective at securing parking spots in Center City Philadelphia, but this was huge.  While my coworkers were baffled by the company’s decision, to me it made perfect sense.  It was exactly what I wanted.

Ok, so maybe I had really wanted to have another job secured before leaving this one, but in one fell swoop the universe had solved my problem for me.  No longer would I have to do a half-ass job search while I rotted away behind a desk that was holding me prisoner, keeping me from my true purpose.  What’s keeping you from your true purpose?

Being the overachiever that I am, I made two lists the second I got home that night.  One was a financial “to do list,” that included filing for unemployment and refilling all of my prescriptions, and the other was a household to do list.  Not one to sit idle, I attacked them with fervor, crossing each item off triumphantly during that first week of freedom, confident that my hiatus would be very brief and I needed to get all of it done before work once again consumed my days.   I wanted to make sure that I fixed what needed repairing and cleared away the clutter to make room for the new opportunities to come.  What do you need to clear out to make room for your new opportunities?

New opportunities did come.  I was offered leads and referrals for various jobs.  I diligently filled out applications, answered inquiries, and wrote cover letters.  Everything was in process and a new job was on its way.  But not nearly quickly enough.  My self-imposed deadline of November 24th for securing a job was approaching more quickly than I would have liked; I wanted to have a job lined up for when I returned from a trip to India December 1st.  My finances and my sanity depended on it.

After expressing my job frustrations to one of my best friends, he sent me this text reply, “I’ll help you manifest one.”  We devised a plan to get me a new job.  Every morning I would wake up early, get dressed as if I was going to work, and actually leave the house.  Scott would check in on me and see how my day was going and how my latest project was shaping up, just like he did when we were coworkers years ago.

“You’re new job isn’t on the way,” he said. “You already have it.”

The next day I woke up and pressed snooze on my alarm twice.  Don’t worry, it’s exactly what I did every morning before getting ready for my last job.  I took a shower and put on a suit (which was nicer than I dressed most days at my previous job) and got in my car and drove off.  I went about my errands, depositing my unemployment check (which I pretended was a paycheck from someone other than the government), donated some stuff to charity, and put air in my tires (dirtying my suit up just a bit). 

I returned to my home office victorious.  I made myself a list of tasks to accomplish for the day, which included cleaning out my office and making sure it was feng shui, creating a spreadsheet of vendors and tasks for my cousin’s wedding, updating my Linkedin profile, and applying for new jobs.  I also made sure to text Scott to bitch about my morning commute.

By the five o’clock I felt great.  I had accomplished nine out of ten items on my to-do list and had been sent two leads for jobs, one from my best friend from college and another from a former VP of mine.  All in all, a great first day on the job.  As I changed out of my suit into my typical after-work attire, I felt at peace.

Tomorrow I’m going to take it up a notch.  After all, I don’t want to recreate my routine from my old job, I am manifesting a new one.   So no snooze button, there will be more open projects in my work bag when I Ieave the house and more items on my to-do-list.  I have already identified the first order of business for tomorrow: fill out a vacation request form for my trip to India.  By next week, I will surely deserve this vacation.

The view from my office is spectacular, how is yours?

If tomorrow you knew the exact date that you would leave your form in this existence, what would you feel like you ABSOLUTELY had to accomplish?

What would you want to make darn sure you had a good chance of doing?

What would you STOP doing?

What naughty or irresponsible or reckless things would you do?

Which would you add if you didn’t have to consider the risk of shortening your life span limiting your resources?

Who would you make amends to? Who would you purge from your circle?

Where would you go? With whom?

Write it all down.

Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson made this idea famous with the movie “”The Bucket List” and it’s a great story to show what happens when mortality catches up to the daily grind.

After you have a good list of the things you need to do before you kick the bucket – measure it up to your life today. What you are CURRENTLY doing today, this week, this month, this year to get yourself there? The answers will give you a good indicator of how close you live to your ideal.

If your dream in life is to be wildly wealthy, what are the tactical steps you are taking to get there? Going to work every day and buying lottery tickets is hoping – and hope is not a strategy.

What are some of the things on your list?

Posted in Foundation, Power Tagged: amends, inspiration, mortality, regret, The Bucket List ]]> http://thislifeonearth.wordpress.com/2009/09/08/put-your-head-in-a-bucket/feed/ 1 Amytastic bucket http://thislifeonearth.wordpress.com/2009/04/23/las-vegas-april-09-cheers-and-jeersto-come/ http://thislifeonearth.wordpress.com/2009/04/23/las-vegas-april-09-cheers-and-jeersto-come/#comments Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:52:27 +0000 Abigail Sutton http://thislifeonearth.wordpress.com/?p=405 ]]>

Heading to Sin City this year? Read on…

My fiance, Bill and I decided to take an impromptu trip to Vegas after I was laid-off. Why not get away to escape and get my mind off of things for a week? What we discovered over the next week (it was my first trip to Vegas, his third) was complete insanity and fun in all it’s revelry.

CHEERS:

Phil at the MGM Grand, we arrived to LAS 1 day late, it was due to Delta’s mechanical problems, and he immediately upgraded us to an executive suite with a big jacuzzi tub, so we didn’t need to argue about getting money back from priceline.com. Lovely. Who doesn’t love a 250 square-foot marble bathroom?

MGM has a check-in area at the McCarran airport! Complete genius! We stepped off the plane, picked up our luggage, made a u-turn and were at their “lobby” in the airport! It was fabulous. A quick shuttle-ride to the hotel/casino and we were at MGM. How’s that for convenience and efficiency?!

Madaam Toussand’s Wax Museum at The Venetian- Beautiful recreations (Harrison Ford from Indiana Jones, Hugh Hefner and Jenna Jameson, Salma Hayek, Babe Ruth, Jimi Hendrix). It’s fun to go with some prop, like a top hat, cane, Mardi Gras beads and the like. The museum is completely hands-on. So feel free to grab J-Lo’s booty, you know you want to or tousle Mel Gibson’s mane.

Vegas Luxury Rides – after 5 days on the strip, gambling, drinking, dancing our butts off and swimming we needed a break. Bill suggested heading to the Canyon, Hoover Dam and maybe hitting Lake Mead along the way too. As far as the car we knew one thing and one thing only, a convertible. In the desert, wear some SPF, let your hair down and enjoy the sun!

I first looked up Avis rental prices, because I know they are competitive. They wanted $250 for a Seabring (Chrysler) convertible for 24 hours. I then followed a link to Luxury Car Rentals and they listed the total prices, tax included on their website, no other luxury car rental site in Vegas does this. Their red 2008 Porsche Carrera was going for $350. I love sports cars and driving fast. We went with the Porsche. There’s nothing like driving 120+ mph down Interstate 90 in the desert to remind you how amazing life is!

The guys at VLR were incredible to work with. Laid-back, professional and funny. It’s a relatively small operation, (though they have a huge fleet of cars). They will also pick you up at your hotel with your car of choice for an additional fee, of course.  If you’re attending an event in Las Vegas, why not arrive in style?

Body English (dance club) at Hard Rock Cafe- They have platforms where you can dance if you’re feeling brave enough and when you’ve danced like crazy to the past 10 songs they spray a mist of ice cold water on the entire lower floor. Completely refreshing and it doesn’t make you wet or cold. The bartender was also completely accommodating when I told her my Grey Goose on the rocks was preemptively taken by a buser and she refilled another for free.

Waiting in line to get in, I struck up a conversation with a girl in line next to me, and we ended up getting in for free because her friend (that she was with) owned another club in Vegas and locals get in free many places. Talk to people! Be nice! You never know what will happen or who you’ll meet.

Eiffel Tower at Paris Casino- High, very high. I’d say I have an average-persons fear of heights, but this is pretty crazy because you’re so high and it’s open air, screened in of course, very windy. The view of the strip and surrounding mountains is interesting, so much development down below and then just desert and mountains. The elevator operator was very funny too. I hear the Stratosphere, since it’s even taller is incredible as well, (complete with a rollercoaster at the top) we’re saving that for our next trip to The Strip.

Daylife party at MGM’s Wet Republic Pools- What’s better than swimming during the day in salt water pools in your coolest suit, surrounded by hundreds of people wanting to have a good time, grooving to a great DJ, DJ Crooked, and drinking the best sangria west of the Mississippi? Not much. The staff was so helpful and accommodating. The food on their menu, like the poached lobster, shrimp and crab plate for 33 bucks was too big for me and so fresh. Their cheesesteak quesadillas melt in your mouth.

Now, I should move on to the people-watching. HOLY $&!%. It was incredible. We would dance in the pool, swim around, cool off and then go back to our padded lounge chairs to watch the wild locals and “celebrities” of Vegas strut their stuff around the pool and socialize. It was hilarious coming from a Cowtown-to-Philly girl. The East coast is so different from the West “coast” that is Vegas. It had a very LA vibe. The party starts around noon and ends at 6:30. Just in time for your dinner reservation at Joel Robechon or show. Bring cards, we choose Quiddler and it was fun to play a game while waiting for our suntan lotion to set-in.

Deal or No Deal Slots, at the MGM Grand and Hard Rock Cafe – Imagine the slot machines you’re used to playing in Atlantic City, now times the fun by lucky number 7. These slots have a bonus game, much like the gameshow where you eliminate suitcases which contain a secret money amount. If you eliminate the suitcases with the lowest worth you’re in good shape, if you’re willing to make “No Deal” against the bank and continue playing the game, you could also be on your way to victory. Did I mention these are nickel slots and Bill and I walked away up 300 bucks in 3 hours over 2 days? If only I could say the same for blackjack… These come in penny, nickel, dollar and higher bets, but dollar and above don’t have the bonus game, which makes the game so much more fun.

Stay tuned for JEERS, what to avoid in Vegas, coming up shortly…

After visiting Hoover Dam, driving back to Vegas

There’s always plenty of talk about nurturing your inner child, but rarely do we hear about feeding your kick ass inner bad girl.  How to get there in ten mischievous steps:

1. Find a photo of yourself as a little girl being a bad girl. Look for devilish grins, sparkle or general naughtiness. Clip it to the top of your bad girl list for inspiration.

2. Collect some pictures of bad girls who inspire you. They can be famous (think Harriet Tubman or Angelina Jolie) or someone you know (your college roommate with pink hair and a lip piercing).

3. Write down all of your – shoulds-. I should learn French, I should scrub the bathroom floor, I should tell him how I really feel. Give yourself permission to delete one from the list (forever) and DO one as soon as possible. Try the site http://www.diddit.com/ to record what you’ve already done and what you -wanna- do.

4. Now it’s time to build your posse. Think of someone you know or would like to know to be your bad girl mentor. Then think of someone who needs your help to be naughtier. How you can recruit them both in your mission?

5. Purge the people in your life who are BAD FOR YOU and continue to replace them with people who can be BAD WITH YOU. Think steals your man vs. rides shotgun when you do a drive-by.

6. If money wasn’t an issue, if you didn’t need your job, if your responsibilities instantly vanished, if you could say or do whatever you want, if you weren’t afraid, what would you do? Make a list of all these things. Be as crazy as you want – don’t worry, you can burn it later.

7. Watch The Bucket List for a great example of how to execute this list and claim your inner wild child. Don’t let the cancer overtones fool you – this movie is seriously motivating in your mission.

8. Reframe your life. What disappoints you? What holds you back? You’re broke? You’re lonely? Make a list of your -disappointments-. Then take a big red marker, draw a line through each item and scribble a reframing statement next to it. I’m not single, I’m keeping my options open. I don’t live in a dump, I rebel against the consumptive society to save the earth.  Think W.W. M. M. S?  (What would Marilyn Monroe say?)

9. Bad girls know that if you’ve got it, flaunt it – otherwise, fake it till you make it. Pick a recent boring event (meeting at work, traffic ticket) and spin a fabulous story about it. Share it with your naughty mentee (see step 4), then tell it to three unsuspecting people and watch their reactions.

10. Make a list of the compliments you’ve received (physical, work ethic, sense of humor, personality etc). Add some you should have received. Circle your favorites and carry this list in your purse. When you’re feeling less than bad girl-o-riffic, bust it out and read it.

Congratulations! You’re well on your way to breaking the rules AND respecting yourself in the morning. Go forth in your sassiness and remember, well-behaved women seldom make history!

I came across an article one day at work about a group of women who took turns hosting a dinner party at their homes, with the goals of spending consistent together-time and raising money for charity.  They called their group a Giving Circle.  It was one of many springing up all over the country.  I immediately thought: dinner + friends + charity = right up my alley!  After all, I had always found planning and executing dinner parties to be stressful but enjoyable and incredibly fulfilling.  I love researching recipes and creating a menu, coming up with elaborate desserts to bake and then wishing I hadn’t had such grand ambitions, seeing the enjoyment on people’s faces when they eat something I have prepared (when it is good, that is).  I especially enjoy cooking for and sharing meals with the important people in my life.  Breaking bread with the ones you love is a wonderful pastime—one not enjoyed as often as it should be in these hectic times. 

I printed the article and ran upstairs to my friend Nancy’s desk (she is a fabulous baker and cook and I knew she would love this concept).  Ironically, Nancy had been tossing around a similar idea.  We began planning the details of our circle.  The result:  five women (a sixth joined later) who worked together would unite monthly to share a meal and donate $20 each to charity.  How simple yet meaningful.

Combine a dash of dinner party with a pinch of philanthropy and you have the ingredients for a growing trend in charitable giving.  Our Giving Circle has been in existence for over 3 years.  To date we have collected almost $3,000 for charity.  By consensus, we donate to causes near and dear to our hearts.  We take pride in deciding how our money will be spent, and enjoy taking a hands-on approach to our charitable giving.  Equally important, our bonds of friendship become stronger and stronger with each dinner.

Food, friends and giving back—it doesn’t get better than that.

For more information about Giving Circles or to start your own group, visit www.givingcircles.org. 

In 1943, Albert Maslow proposed a psychological hierarchy of needs in his Theory of Human Motivation paper. This is usually shown in pyramid form where the hierarchy works because you manage the needs in the first tier first and in the next tier second and so forth.

It does not matter how you approach the needs within each tier so long as they are all complete before moving up the pyramid.

The same information is also useful if extrapolated into a hierarchy list, where if the first need is not met, you cannot prioritize a need further down on the list and still expect to thrive. (i/e: the pursuit of creativity really doesn’t work if you fear for your physical security)

1. Physical Safety and Security
2. Financial Security
3. Friendship
4. Attention of others
5. Being listened to
6. Guidance
7. Respect
8. Validation
9. Expressing and Sharing Feelings
10. Sense of Belonging
11. Nurturing
12. Touch
13. Intimacy
14. Sexual Expression
15. Loyalty and Trust
16. Accomplishment
17. Progress towards goals
18. Competency and Mastery
19. Contributing
20. Fun and Play
21. Freedom and Independence
22. Creativity
23. Spiritual Awareness
24. Unconditional Love

NEED more? Check out these books for applying the theory to your life, your job or your business:

Co dependence is a control type behavior pattern that causes difficulty in relationships with others.

There are  many diagnostic criteria and definitions available, the purpose here is not to make a classification, but rather to highlight non-productive behaviors and help eradicate them from your life.

Want the whole story? Read Codependent No More, available in ThisLifeOnEarth Bookstore.

Below,  I reprint general patterns and characteristics as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence

Denial Patterns:
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.”
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Patterns:
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
I accept sex when I want love.

Control Patterns:
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be “needed” in order to have a relationship with others.

Copyright © 1998 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Incorporated and its licensors – All Rights Reserved

When driving I get a real kick out of reading bumper stickers and others’ personalized plates. Having such a small canvas, so-to-speak, to get your point across is a tough thing. [I find this myself when writing my blog entries, longevity comes easy, brevity, I'm working on.] Some bumper stickers make me laugh, others are just plain silly. Nevertheless, they entertain; whether it’s for their shock value, wackiness or provoking thought. 

WACKY

FUNNY

THOUGHT PROVOKING

Today was a beautiful day out, so my fiance, Bill and I walked around Old City (near where we live, in Philadelphia) and South Street. We found ourselves at this great Thrift Store that sold hundreds, and I mean hundreds of bumper stickers, pins and statement tees. A couple of my favorites are here:

Stupidity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result

Minds are like parachutes…they only function when open! -Peace Resource Project

Just say NO to negativity – Northern Sun Merchandising

Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens. – Jimi Hendrix and albums DVDs 

My thought for you is this, if you could have one thought, idea, statement, or exclamation, screen-printed on a tee, printed on a bumper sticker or pin what would it be and why?

Me for example, I’m trying to improve my listening skills. I have ADD and not using that as an excuse here, but the chemical makeup in my brain affects my attention span, ability to be distracted, etcetera. Thus, I’m trying to keep better eye contact when listening to someone and in moments of extreme distraction; busy cafes, public transportation, the list goes on, I repeat the words they say in my head. I find this helps me soak up what they’re saying and I’m able to respond with a more thoughtful reply. Regarding my own self-improvement within listening, I would say my message would fall close to Hendrix’s quote.

What’s your message and how do your actions speak louder than your words?